internal conflicts...

Its a week of true colors.

Sly fox in the company (the boss) is threatening to kill headcount of another department if sales doesn't increase. Meaning, rice bowl of another colleague lies in the hands of our sales. Wicked.

And he's critising that our team's pipeline of leads is lousy. We worked god-damned hard for it ok! And yet he effortlessly critised. Its very demoralising and hurting.

And he said I'm a slow worker. Handling things from the front end to the back end. I've already tried my best. I owe him no explanation. I guess he just wants someone to put 48 hours into 24 hours. That equivalent to asking for the moon.

Anyway, I'm still in office, waiting for time to meet my poly buddies. And I have a long wkend ahead!

Now everyday, the only thing in my mind is FIND A JOB SOON! Gosh, its either my luck's really colored black or the job market's really in bad shape or its my asking price and my experience that has the problem. But I seriously need help soon man!

Cheers for the long weekend! HURRAY!

fights filled with laughter

I managed to catch The Forbidden Kingdom on Saturday @ Lido. And we saw Mark Lee and his wife. Pregnant. =) congrats.....And he drives my dream car!! Mini Cooper Convertible. Gosh.

If you're hoping for a good story line, forget it. Its more like a fantasy, comedy movie. The cinema was almost full. And the loudest sound in the cinema was laughs.

Its quite a heart-lightening show. If you're in need for a good laugh, you gotta catch it.

But its quite weird to see Chinese of the olden times speaking English. It just doesn't happen. Thats the part where I find that they failed to blend.

But still, for laughters, its a good show to catch.
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Its Monday again. Hopefully I get to go some interviews this week. I'm all ready to go. Again, like every other day, old fool's asking for sales again. Not like he's hit his own target. He's far from it. Just cannot wake up his bloody idea. Depending on 1 person's sales to keep the company going. Mixing up all the cost & profit centres. He probably doesn't know a shit about cost & profit centres. *Faint* and he's called my boss. Like, how?
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Just gotta bitch every other day. Life's like that. Bitch, be happy & move on...~yeah~

Happy Birthday to Myself

Living in this world for 23 years already.

Today is the day mum gave birth to me. After 9 months of torturing her, I'm finally out, to torture her physically. Thanks mum.

Received alot of smses when I wake up. Something different from everyday.

My wish, I believe that saying out will make it more likely to come true:
- Get a better new job
- More money
- He stays here and study well
- Be with me forever
- Family & friends stay happy & healthy
- World peace.

Good luck Esther..and everyone.

a blessed girl...Me...

I got a lip-shaped phone from Cindy & gang. haha..thanks...it really shows one thing - they totally have NO IDEA what to get me AT ALL!! LOL....But, I like anything that's from the heart. Even a simple 'Happy Birthday' means alot to me.

It really brightened up my day alot. Work's been rough, and I'd been rather upset with how things were. But meeting them on Thursday, I really lighten up alot. Thanks guys.

We went timbre, my fave place, the place I never get tired of. The food, I now declare, is FANTASTIC! We had Chicken kebab, Fish & Chips and Combo pizza (half roasted duck, the other some combined sauages flavour). Roasted duck is still better. and is the fave of the night. And of course, how can I go without my Erdinger right. Now I'm waiting for Cindy to send me the pics. Guess she forgot, she's real busy..

And today, my manager, she too got me something surprise. She actually made the effort to go get me the pair of slippers I saw with her over lunch few weeks back and left it on my chair. And this AM, I was thrilled & surprised. I love the slippers..its got cushioned base and straps. Feels like im walking on cushions. And its in electric blue!

She actually found out about my birthday through friendster. Haha. She's really sweet. I merely know her for about 6 months.

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I went for an interview with a head hunter. A friendly guy. Hopefully I'd be able to secure a job soon. And out of the blue I got another call from another head hunter, saying that she's got this post in a huge mnc, and asked if I'd like to try. An assistant position. But I believe, I should have chances of growing there. Its international.

*x-fingers*

I'm starting to feel a change in luck..looking forward to a better new year.

and this, is the last blog in my 22nd year....Good bye 22...

when cohabiting isn't enough..

Seeing my friend, who had been living with her bankrupt boyfriend for near 5 years, and still unmarried - I feel kinda bad for her. She's turning 30 this year.

Its obvious that she is suppressing her desire to get married. Saying things like I just want a simple ROM and dinner with close friends. But in her eyes, its filled with envy and doubt.

Few years back when I just knew her, she was happy with her 'then' life.

Today, she asks questions like, "What is exactly done during a facial? What is Medicure and Pedicure?"

At times during the wedding we attended yesterday, she said, "I want my dinner done in ...", "I want my wedding pictures taken." and also asked what kind of gown she can wear to hide her tattoos. She don't just want a simple wedding, she wants it to be memorable. A day to call it hers.

Even Wei can see it. Only her jobless boyfriend is blinded.

It caught me thinking, "Would that happen to me?"

Girls, we gotta admit, we would want to settle down at some point of time. Its just a matter of time, its a phase we all go through. I believe majority including me would have poundered, "Will he marry me?".

Being in this relationship for near 6 years, I frequently wonder if he will waste my youth. We still have many years ahead before we can afford to settle down, that is provided he has this thought. In my previous entries, I did ask this question too. There's too many 'what-ifs'. Its quite scary to think, what if another 4 years down the road and he is still not ready? I don't want to be a wrinkled bride. *imagine myself wrinkled, wearing a wedding gown*

Quite unpleasant.

So, questions of the blog - What would you do if:
1. This man/girl you're with is wasting your youth?
2. He's avoiding his next phase in life with you?

It can be easy to answer, it won't be easy to do it.

my job sux, my iphone is tops..

I've gotta be a thrift spender this month.

Mum's, friend's birthday. Spent on my iPhone.

Anyways, I've collected my iPhone from my cousin. ~popping of champagne~

Its damn fun lor! Its a new fever between me and wei. 2 of us can sit at McDonald's and keep playing with it for hours. That's a new way of spending time. ~gosh!~ finally something new in our life. But, it's got its downside too.

The Bluetooth, is god-damned useless. you can only sync it with the Bluetooth headset. Not for sending pictures, files etc. Damn it!

But still, my new indulgence is a worthy 1. I like it. But it also means I have to part with my N61i, which is actually, a better phone compared to iPhone. It's got EVERYTHING I need.
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I'd been losing so frequently I can count the number of days in the week i manage to fall into deep sleep. I guess partly due to the fact that I can't get any job! Not even any call from the prospective employers. Is there no one out there willing to give me a chance?! Thinking of some prayers I can think of, but...unfortunately, none.

I'm like so damn sick of my work. Hunting (job) responses haven't been good. I guess, both me and my resume is JINXED to the pits. Time to change something. I'm going to start my resume makeover very soon! My birthday's coming, hopefully, hopefully, it changes my luck good too. *cross-fingers*

So fucking sway with job hunts. Its never been good. But at least, I have a job, thou, it sux to the max. A stingy, picky, calculative, narrow-minded, and everything-negative, everything-not-enough boss! FUCK OFF PIECE OF SHIT! arghhh...i really need to let it off. really. If only my manager can be the boss, it'd be so much easier. At least we both work together, try to improve things together, but its still never enough for him!? There's only so much we can do know....im so desperate.

the clients, are also irritating. haiz. what a shit job I have.
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fights

Scenario: A fight between a bunch of Malay teens.
Weapons: Fists, kicks, a knife that looks like a parang.
Victims: The spectators
Venue: Outside marriot hotel entrance
Witnesses: Many handfuls of shocked spectators, and 3 of us

well, the reason I'm blogging about this is because, at least 3 of us were utterly disturbed. what happened was, we were collecting our car from the valet at the hotel, and suddenly we hear running footsteps and shouts. suddenly 1 fell and 1 of the kids, looks very young, raise his knife and slashed him. within a split second, the chaos dispersed. it happened and ended too fast for anyone to react, leaving everyone stunned & speechless.

it caused distress, shock and murmurs after it ended. its so different from what we watch on movies thou. the sound of the slash sounded like "pak" instead of "slassssh".

but the thought began, what if that person was your loved one? what if its your friend? what if its a hi-bye friend? and you happen to witness it? what would you do?

and what would it be if it happened in crowds? will anyone innocent get hurt for no rhyme or reason?

think about it...