eating mud?

back in office after the interview, nothing much, the coy is in a agriculture industry. i don't think i wanna talk to fertilizers. besides, its at habourfront. gosh.

no mood to work, feeling very tired, still coughing and flu-ing..and the aircon is friggin' cold..

came across this article in Yahoo - Poor Haitians Resort to Eating Dirt

Quite sad thou, imagine eating dirt for 3 meals a day. and your baby drinks the mum's milk. its all a result of increasing food prices. they can't afford it. so sad right. yet here i am wasting food everyday. the food we considered distasteful is delicacy to them.

how many a times we throw food without even thinking? well, i do that so frequently, i consider myself a sinner. I'd probably try reducing it lor..I'd try hard..

cannot imagine myself living in Haiti and suffering the lack of food. so poor thing, but that's the ugly side of life man..wonder if there'd be a good Samaritan to do some donation to them..

hmm...back to slog....

a new round of jobhunt

im hunting again! for jobs..

i was sick for 4 days now..today the 5th..

i was feeling fine this am, cuz i had a long break, friday & monday mc..

then came a call - a foreigner - i realised i had enough..

i sent in my resume for a job vacancy i saw in jobstreet yesterday. and this am, i got a call for interview with the agent. so im going tomorrow morning before i report to work. i only sent 1, not expecting any calls so soon, nor even getting considered cuz of my experience.

apparently they are willing to pay UPTO $3k for fresh grads, think there must be alot of goers..gotta keep my fingers crossed & pray hard.

good luck esther!

doubts, doubts and more doubts..

well, mood hasn't been too good for the past 2 weeks..but i don't really know the reason.

until today, i spoke to Ger about something, and i realized what's wrong.

i think probably this year is about to be 6th year for both of us. so i'm starting to get very doubtful of our future. and i'm getting tired.

all these years, its a step-by-step relationship, its leading nowhere, and just becoming, every other day, a routine. kinda like, "mum i'm home."; "mum i'm going out" kind of relationship. probably age has gotten into me, ha..old already..but now i find that having some kind of commitment or assurance will give me confidence in our future. just a simple assurance.

guess she's kinda right, he doesn't know where things would lead. that's why he wouldn't dare commit. how long do i have to wait for that? i wouldn't want to press him, its pointless. like a forced-marriage. so, i can only tell myself repeatedly - "let it be". can I really do that?

what do we really want from this relationship?

could it be that the love & passion has already disappeared without either of us knowing? is the habitual companionship and many moments of memories the reason why we're still together?

~sigh~

another week passed...

i've got wedding to attend tonight...my cousin's wedding. i've only seen her less than 5 times in my entire 22 years..omg...im so dreading it..

but at least i finished watching Golden Path today, its a fantastic show manz..li nan xing's a talented actor..the way he acted in this show is really impressive, so is tay ping hui..its a damn sad show..i cried so much..the show hit my weakest link..even till now i feel the sadness..thats me..

now im going to spend the rest of the day watching shows, shows and more shows...ha...my enjoyment..and at night..haiz...some dreadful dinner...just cant wait to find a way to escape later and go out thou there's nowhere really exciting to go thou...

ever since graduation, i feel so darn bored...i really wanna get a course but $$$ its never enough...think i gotta wait till i've saved back my degree $...

something at work this week really bugged me..

sometime last year my coy sent some foreign workers my coy sent over are now suffering cuz' of the agents at australia. we have our australian agent who were supposed to get these workers job, instead this agent sent their resume to a 3rd party agent to get them a job...the fees naturally went up..

and now these workers are working double cuz the company supposedly paid them AU$30 a day, but in actual fact, they only got about AU$17-19/day..the agents are getting half of what is 'paid' to the workers. so the coy expected them to work extra and do things that were not in their specialization. as a result the agents commanded us to contact these workers to buck up else they'd be sent back to their homeland..what's worse is, as long as these workers are working for that coy, the agents get paid..

after my mgr contacted these workers, one of them actually cried over the phone (kinda heartbreaking). complained that they were not paid that much, and they got scolded everyday for not doing their work properly..the fact is these australians employers did not give them a chance to explain themselves.

all these happened as a result of the agent's incompetency, hence increasing the cost..but these costs are born by the workers..its rather pitiful, they've already paid over 10K in SG to get there in hope of earning more..but it turns out worse..besides that, i believe there must be some kinda racistism treatment..they're black-skinned..how sad..

i seriously think they'd be better off here..the agents never once blamed themselves, thinking they're right. but its not fair to these workers, what they were tested here in SG before going and what they are doing now are both different things, of different specialization. its just not right..

so sometimes, i really donno whether to pity them or dislike them..they're sometimes really irritating..now they don't really have a choice, they already paid so much to get there...they cannot afford to get sent back..hmmm....

something i learnt in this job - im so much more fortunate than them. i cherish what i have now more than ever..at least i don't have to suffer the pain of leaving my family behind..also, its always good to treat people equally regardless their status, color and race....

well...thats all folks....

yoga...sleep......

both pris & i excitedly went for our first long-pinned yoga class..its damn good for sleeping manz...bet pris will agree...i almost fell asleep towards the end of the class where they asked the classed to lie down n just BREATHE & RELAX..

its fun thou, the stretching n all..but i wont be attending class today..having very bad menstrual cramps this month...its the 2nd day and still hurt like hell...panadol extra wont even help...but cannot take mc...no one else is assisting my manager...

i think im getting my confirmation this month..according to my manager, boss is reviewing my package..let's see how it goes...quite eager to get it asap...

i wonder what's gonna happen to me if my manager left...she's warned me that she's looking for job, and once she gets it, she'd leave...she's just being fair to me by informing me 1st..she's a very nice lady...just too bad that this boss doesn't work on staff welfare & he doesn't listen..haiz....

now, all i pin for is the new package and my holiday this coming CNY....still unsure of the problematic brother is going...he's got exams the very next day we arrive in SG..poor chap...

thats all for now.....back to work....

1 JAN 2008..finally....

i spent my last minutes of 2007 and first hour of 2008 at home with wei watching the stupid countdown show..and..after that, he left n i went off to bed...

and on this first day of 2008, i went for breakfast with my parents and went for a haircut..

just completed my 2nd season of supernatural..its better than the first..im a drama series freak...

this year, pris and i are finally going to go for our yoga classes! starting tomorrow for 20 lessons weekly..at least something we both can do together as classmates again...ha...hope its fun..but guess i'd have a very hard time stretching..bones n nerves are all stiff after not working out for like years...

work....hope to get a better 1 with a better pay and more marketing exposure..every job is a pile of shit waiting for you to clear, its just how worthy that pile of shit is worth you putting in your efforts....

the current one is piling me with a 1-man show everyday with a 4 person work load to do..its a hell lot of things..and no one is bothering to help..yet the boss is saying im not doing enough..its never enough to bosses... ~duh~

anyways, plans will be made after CNY...after my holiday with my family...im real looking forward to that one..too bad wei cant b with us..

January is a long month...4 working weeks..gosh...lets hope things gets better and im heading timbre this friday! cant wait....

happy new year to all...smooth sailing for the next 365 days....